News Flash: Healthy Food Hasn’t Changed in 100 Years

March 31, 2018

Is it 100 years or 200 or 300 or who cares? Healthy foods, diets trends, and the next best health concepts are always changing. They wash like trash on the beach of our health. They muddy an otherwise beautiful landscape. Here today, gone tomorrow and back next year packaged under a new name. Always just a pile of shit polished into something shiny.

Wait! I read last week that I need to eat 15 tiny meals a day and detox every 9.6 days based on the lunar cycle. It’s called the Lunacy Diet. It’s just out of this world. Why limit yourself to earth-based food trends, we have captured all of the expertise of the universe? Jibberish. A 6-year-old has more sense of his or her health than we do. Don’t be lazy. Don’t be stupid. Don’t worry about totally disconnecting. Here is all you need to know (after which you can turn your TV into a pretty aquarium or just go live in the woods).

Whole Foods

No this is not a promotion for Amazon Prime. I am talking about the original whole foods. Confused about what they are? Here is the best quote I have seen, in like forever, and all you need to know about eating and buying food.

“The best foods don’t even have labels, because they are just one ingredient,”- Mark Bittman and Dr. Davild Katz, GrubStreet

Eat real food. Fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes, grains. Feel free to flavor these foods with things like meat, fish, and poultry, but keep your meals mostly veggie). You get it. If this is the majority of your diet, you are already at the head of the class. If you can pick it from a tree, bush or the ground, feel free to eat it!

Moderation 

You know what is great to indulge in, a huge piece of aged steak that covers the entire place. Or eating an entire bowl of cookie dough in one sitting. You know what this is the antithesis of? Moderation. You know it when you see it. You know when you are breaking it. One cookie becomes ten. A few fries become a plate. One drink becomes five. Learn self-control. Practice it. You will mess up, but don’t compound the issue. Make a mistake, self-correct, and get back on track.

Does moderation include?

  • Eating only meat. No
  • Drinking only Vodka (no wine, beer or carbs!), but 5 drinks a night. No
  • 5 cups of black coffee a day. No
  • Juice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No! No! No!
  • Supersizing. Palm to Face!

Next time your social media addicted friend tells you that Diet Coke is the new kale, feel free to mention to him or her that they sound bloated and might need to detox from themselves. Facebook is dead anyway so no need to check it anymore and see those silly fake news health headlines. I will miss those sexy tasty food recipe videos that help me get over the afternoon hunger pains. Has anyone used one of those recipes?

Happy eating!


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